then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
