I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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