let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
