I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize