I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize