She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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