Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
