What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
