i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize