She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
