this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
