Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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