Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
