seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
