Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
