Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
