i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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