My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
