he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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