I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize