Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
