It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
