I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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