I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
