Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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