I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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