Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
