I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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