yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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