Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
