I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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