I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
