I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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