like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
