Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
