My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
