Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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