your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
