that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
