p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize