I wanna bring you to show and tell
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
