Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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