Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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