i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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