awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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