Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
