I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
