i think my tv is drunk
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize