I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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