we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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