Having a random hookup so left but love u
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
