He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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