He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
