hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
