big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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