Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So here I am, sexting at work.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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