But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
