you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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