How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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