Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
