my sisters under your porch take her home
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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