It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
