adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
