Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
