found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
two words: eviction party
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
