after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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