the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
