So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
wakey wakey hands off snakey
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
