Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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