And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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