I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
