I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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