he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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