Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
