Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize