hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
