I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
