Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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