I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
